In the immortal and wise words of Neil Sedaka, “breaking up is hard to do” - and in some cases, it’s darned near impossible. Yes it’s that time again –

Time to Talk NYC Secession!
“What’s that?” I hear you cry! You must have heard me wrong? Here - let me repeat - Secession Plan Is Floated for New York City. Yes, your eyes do not deceive you. An esteemed member of the New York City Council Has Revived the NYC Statehood Bid. How I love this story when it crops up (as it does from time to time). In fact, it is an idea with legs, with a rich and colorful history. It all blows over eventually, of course but before it does - Oh the drama!

• High words pass. Vallone said that “without the five boroughs, the rest of the state is economically Arkansas.” Well, I don’t know Wal Mart is in Arkansas - that may work in Arkansas’ favor.
• Declarations of intent are issued. The New York Sun sees the bigger picture, declaring, “Our own preference would be not a shrinking New York but an expanding one. We’d be happy to subsume, for example, Greenwich, Connecticut and Saddle River, New Jersey. And, for that matter, Puerto Rico.” No point in thinking small. This is NYC. We don’t do small.
• Buffalo, second largest city in the state, wails that it can’t get any respect. I wonder why? At a guess - because 13 million out the 19 million people in the state live here and not there! Get over it and pick on someone your own size - like Albany.

Then just when you think someone get a restraining order, an outsider butts in with their view and ranks close back up and everyone is once again united. But while the posturing and hand waving go on, it’s fun to consider some potential issues and questions that might arise. Such as:

• Is this secession happening before or after the one where Staten Island secedes from the city? Because if it’s before then I think someone better go talk to S.I. and find out if this changes the game for them.
• If we become a state, do we have to underwrite the cost of changing all those flags?
• Will we need a mayor AND a governor? Or will each borough become a city of its own and have its own mayor?
• What exactly IS the procedure? Is there one?
• Is secession from the state not covered by the same laws that keep the nation together? I assume so otherwise this would happen every other day in this temper tantrum-riddle nation of ours. There is only once exception I can think of - to the secession ban, I mean — and that’s an old Texas wives tale. I don’t think it would actually carry any weight.
• What about Long Island? Shouldn’t we take them as well? I mean, that’s where they keep the Hamptons.
• And what about Roosevelt Island?? NYC leased out the island to NYS for 99 years and will not get the land back until 2068.

So, many things will have to be sorted before this all blows over into nothing more than the budge tantrum it is. Pardon me while I settle in for the fun. And let me just add that with New York actually poised to have to make a decision on primary day, I’m hoping, just HOPING someone asks some candidate (any of them - from either party, I’m not fussy) where they stand on this.