Compasses on the sidewalks? Surely not? And yet there they are, posied to create logjams at intersections, doorways and in the middle of the side walk as people pause, do a double take or check the decal against their maps or their inner compass. Gosh, just what we need to get the already crowded sidewalks even more congested.

Listen, I understand that the bleary moment when you come up from the subway. You are so thankful to be released from the damn train that you are lightheaded, giddy and may not see the sign indicating which exit/entrance you are venturing up. There may not even be a sign. But come on! You know essentially where you are and as you come up the stairs, you can see which direction the traffic is going, right? Therefore you know east and west. It can’t be just me, can it?

As for helping tourists – how is coming out of a station and watching the sidewalk going to help them. They’ll be knocked over! They’ll be shoved aside! And they will miss one of the key attractions of coming to New York – asking a New Yorker for directions.

I love giving directions and a lot of other New Yorkers do to. I know we bitch and moan about tourists (and rightly so, too. All that meandering, strolling and moseying. WALK people. A bit more briskly. Or, if you must videotape that static object known as a the Empire State Building, move aside so those of us with places to go can – you know – go). But if they ask me for help, I am first in line to give it. I want people to see the place I love. I want to go home and tell people about it (and to tell them to walk briskly)

It never occurred to me that anyone could have trouble navigating Manhattan. Not most of it anyway. It is – in large part – a grid. With numbers. Sure, there are places like the Village that get a little skewed in that quaint “Look, the streets from olde times” way but they aren’t that difficult either.